I don’t know the reasons why
you seem to pass my feelings by
I’m doing the best job I can
raising you to be a good man
I know you are working hard
trying not to drop your guard
I didn’t want you to suffer like me
so many fruits in our family tree
I tried to protect you from everything
it’s hard to watch you suffering
the fucked up things done to me
close your eyes so you don’t see
cover your ears as tight as you can
as they’re delusions surface again
I want to protect you from all of them
won't let them take my most precious gem
they’re hung up on my ugly past
just like their love, this too shall pass
I'm trying to get us out of here
while they try to keep us in fear
you’re my son and my only friend
pray every day for an amicable end
I know everything will be just fine
unless, my son, we run out of time
"you know June is coming quick"
that’s the shit that makes me sick
can’t tell you all that I’ve been shown
but I will tell you that we're on our own
this world inside my mind resembles
beautiful rainbows of fruity pebbles
it’s okay, my boy, your mom is fine
as long as I get what's truly mine
last night I dreamt of huge, crashing waves
my subconscious mind won’t behave
I gamble out of necessity
for us to be financially free
to, once again, have our own home
please son, don’t leave me all alone
I set up a trust fund for you to be
schooled at Stanford University
we can fix whatever’s broken inside
if you want to go for a very long ride
my head’s a bit foggy, my eyes too dry
an abundance of time flew right by
I should have savored every moment
the sands of time made great cement
swimming shoes, I wore, fully content
knowing your life will be better spent
your silence paired with a smug grin
tells me you’re ready to go "all in"
you know they're all bluffing again
you're not stealing or committing a sin
you're just profiting from the world you're in
it's filled with lies and bull shit attracts flies
so cash in your chips, you deserve a prize
©January 17, 2015 – Tamara Imes-Nicholas
No comments:
Post a Comment