Apathetic Inaction

your action of apathetic inaction

tells me that you don’t really care

your mouth keeps telling me you do

your chatter deafens my ears

please don’t insult my intelligence

with lies to make you feel good

save your words for the distracted

unobservant world of people who stood

watching and waiting for me to implode

die off and leave this planet so cold

you all buried me a long time ago

it’s more pain than I can bear just so you know

thank God for my son because his actions show

that his words are truly true so, for him, I don’t go

it may not be up to me much longer I’ve been told

can’t play a losing hand so it’s time that I fold

©February 5, 2018 – Tamara Imes-Nicholas

They All Look Away Instead of Looking My Way

not a bit of empathy being shown to me

stop staring I don’t want your pity

all I want is to be given some courtesy

so painfully obvious is the apathy

left behind and rejected by society

can’t, even, get concern from my family

seems everyone preferred me when criminally

behaving with no ties to bitter reality

probably because I didn’t need or ask for any

help to simply exist in circumstances miserably

was I a serial killer-rapist in my last life, seriously?

nothing makes sense when I think about it logically

my life’s been on a decline since I found sobriety

causing me to question all I ever knew spiritually

hopelessness taking over everything inside me

heart’s been broken so much that it’s empty

this isn’t the way I was born nor how I want to be

had an abundance of love, compassion, and generosity

that was then and this is now; it’s all “used to be”

I’d rather be dead than continue on living this way

can’t believe in a merciless God so I don’t pray

with any luck today will be my very last day

©February 1, 2018 – Tamara Imes-Nicholas